A "Real" Man

Today I thought I would simply share a piece that was written by a man to whom I have given much respect. He is an inspiration to me for the sort of life I wish to mimic in my own way. Please enjoy and as another hero of mine wrote in a song:

“Imagine a world ……….” -John Lennon

This letter was written by Dr. Devi Shetty in the year 1997 after he had completed 4000 surgeries on children.

My Dear Children,

I have been planning to write this Letter for quite sometime. Maybe, I just waited for all of you to grow up to understand what I am trying to convey. The story goes back many years. When God sent you to this world, it was perhaps the best thing that could have happened to your parents.

Every little nudge and kick in your mother's womb opened up a new world of happiness and expectations. Then, one day, a miracle happened. You were to begin a new journey from the warm, happy, secure world of your mother's womb to a world that is cold and full of insecurities. Nevertheless, the joy that your parents felt after this journey knew no bounds. They were on top of the world. But, unfortunately, this happiness was short lived. That very day you started turning blue in color. The doctors had found a hole in your heart which shattered the dreams of your parents. They were devastated and could not understand why they were being punished in this way. They had no choice but to accept the inevitable and decided to give you the best possible medical care.

Before that, they had to overcome two major hurdles. They could not afford the cost of your heart operation and they could not wait since you were turning blue every time you cried. I guess this is a penalty you have to pay for being born in a third world country. Yes, when you were ten days old you had a price tag on your life. If your parents paid the price, they could have you, if not, you would have to go back to where you came from. Your mummy and daddy went through phases of self-pity, denial, mutual accusations and anger towards the society which was indifferent to their problems. Your daddy was upset since he knew that the price tag on your life was less than what his boss would spend on a Saturday evening party. But that is life and one has to accept it. Time was running out and your daddy was getting desperate until he came to know about me. The first thing he told me when we met was "I heard you love children". Yes, I love children and I have four of my own. My profession is giving hope to those suffering from heart diseases and giving them a chance to start life in a fresh new way. I am essentially a technician who can cut and stitch people's hearts; they call me a heart surgeon.

When I met you first, you were barely 10 days old, cuddled in a warm blanket close to your mother's heart. Except for a bit of rapid breathing and bluish nails on your finger, you looked like an angel. I am sure you cannot remember, but I asked you a question "Do you want to be my friend?". This is the question I ask all the children I see. I did want to be your friend and I worked so hard to gain your friendship. I clearly remember your mother's face when she was handing you over to the operation theater nurse. She kissed you and looked at my face with an expression that she is handing over her most precious possession to me, also with the total confidence that I will take care of you.

It was a different sort of love triangle between your father, mother and myself, with you at the centre. We would have done anything in this world to get you back. It took me 6 hours of intense concentration to operate upon your heart and so many sleepless nights before you started smiling again. God was kind to you that time and you made a marvelous recovery. It was a big day for your family when you were being discharged from the hospital. Both your mummy and daddy would have thanked me a million times before they left the hospital. But you were blissfully unaware of what was going on and you were happily clinging on to your mother's chest. My eyes began to swell with tears and I turned my face the other way, since a cardiac surgeon is not supposed to cry. Through the corner of my wet eyes, I saw your face one more time and I knew, I had found one more friend. Your friendship and love is the only fee I expect for treating you.

As a heart surgeon, I have performed more than 4000 operations on children like you suffering from heart disease. Most of them came from poor families. Despite their backgrounds, I treat all for free. I think this is the best way I can repay God who has given me everything I wanted, a good family, a wonderful wife and loving children. For me this world is such a happy place to live in and in my own small way, I strive to make it happy for others around me who are not so fortunate.

You must be wondering what inspired me to take this path. I guess, I became a doctor because of the recurrent illnesses of my parents. My childhood was spent with the fear of losing my mother. My father, who was a diabetic had multiple episodes of diabetic coma. In the lives of the nine of us, God was a distant image and his clear image was that of a Doctor who could save the lives of our parents.

Another childhood incident left a lasting impression on my young mind. I remember, it was a Saturday afternoon. I was trying to build a car, I think, out of match boxes and sticks, like all the other children in my village while, my mother was speaking to a distant relative of ours in Mumbai. This lady was telling my mother about a particular surgeon who apart from saving her child's life also offered his service completely free of cost. I could hear my mother blessing the mother of that surgeon for giving birth to such a wonderful person and ended up saying that this world is still a wonderful place because of people like him.

That was the time I found the purpose for my life, the purpose of bringing happiness to all the children of this world. I was lucky to be in the right place at the right time. I was trained to be a heart surgeon at Guy's Hospital, London. My colleagues there called me an "operating machine", since I loved heart surgery.

I left England in 1989 to start a state-of-the-art heart hospital called B.M. Biria Heart Research Centre at Calcutta. It was a great experience to set up a heart hospital which soon became one of the best heart hospitals in India. And almost immediately after we set up the research centre, we started the pediatric cardiac surgical facilities to take care of children suffering from heart diseases. Little did I know that this centre was to rewrite medical history. My mother at that time was living in a small town near Mangalore. It was my father's death anniversary and she spent almost the entire day in the prayer room. In the evening, my sister who was watching the news on the national network, all of a sudden screamed out for my mother. My mother hurried to the living room to see her son on TV, with a nine day old baby who underwent a successful open-heart surgery. He was the youngest baby at that point of time in India to undergo this procedure. It was the beginning of heart surgery on newborn babies in India. I guess at that time, many mothers would have prayed for my mother's well being too.

Let me tell you about another incident. Do you know the definition of a pediatric cardiac surgeon? The dictionary says he is a surgeon who specializes in the treatment of heart ailments in children. A few years ago, when Mother Teresa suffered a heart attack, I was put in charge of her heart care. One day, Mother, who at that point of time was convalescing in the intensive care unit of the hospital, saw me examining a blue baby. After few minutes of thought, she turned towards me and said, "Now I know why you are here. To relieve the agony of children with heart disease. God sent you to this world to fix it". To my mind, this is the best definition ever given of a pediatric cardiac surgeon and perhaps the best compliment that I have ever received.

One day you will become an adult and probably a very important member of our society. You will have lot of responsibilities and commitments. All I ask of you for is, can you spare a few moments of your precious time every day for someone who needs it and that too without expecting anything back in return. Did you know that, to save your life, a few hundred people worked sincerely without expecting any remuneration other than the joy of making your family, friends and relatives happy?

Dear Children, we are all created by God and He is in control of all the events happening in this world. Unfortunately, He is not supposed to be seen, heard or felt. So, He runs His world using people like you and me. And when you do your work without expecting anything in return, just for the joy of bringing happiness to others, that's when you'll realize it is not your hands which do the job it is the Hands of God. God bless,

Dr. Devi Shetty April 1997, Bangalore

Dream struggles

-“Unless you are willing to walk out into the unknown, the chances of making a profound difference in your life are pretty slim.” ~ Tom Peters

Have you ever found yourself thinking in terms of difference to the world around you? As in, how things might be different if even the slightest of details were different? Consider all the little things that go on in your daily life as an automatic response to given situations. Where did those responses come from?

When I do this exercise myself, I become amazed at how programmed I have become and how many things I just do or think naturally without any depth of reason. It is merely a mimicking of actions or emotions that I have witnessed through my various relationships and somehow decided to accept those actions as a suitable response for myself. Going even deeper, I realize that much of what I do is based on fear, as I am afraid of acting in difference to the world around me, because it inevitably sets me apart from it and takes away the social comfort of being in similarity with the ”herd”.

I have come again to a point in my life where I feel tempted to step outside of the normal patterns of living and to try and experience life in a new way. But I am met with enormous friction both externally and, unfortunately, internally. I suspect that it is the demon within me that hinders me most and it is one that I have wrestled with for all of my remembered existence.

Somehow or another I have become bored and almost disgusted with the “pursuit of the American dream” or “the rat race” of life. As I stare down that winding road it appears to lead to nowhere. Perhaps these feelings have renewed themselves because of the recent loss of my Father. Naturally, I have always tried in one way or another to achieve certain types of “success” in order to please my Father and to receive some recognition from him for my efforts in becoming “a man”. I know this may sound somewhat pathetic, but I am striving to be honest here.

Anyway, I have always been a dreamer and I suppose that automatically I earn the label “idealist” as a side-effect. My Dad did his very best to move these thoughts from a prominent place in my head to a place that allowed very little impact on my life. In other words, my dreams scared him and threatened his idea of how should pursue life in this world. Though at one time I resented this, I have gained more understanding through becoming a father myself.

I have done fairly well considering the carnage that trails behind me. I’ve been handed more opportunities in my career than I feel that I even deserve, and all of it without even a high school diploma. I earn enough to support a family of six in a beautiful city in Colorado and I am the only income. We have a nice house, lots of friends etc…. Yet I find myself feeling empty and desperately on the wrong path. A path that someone else suggest I travel. There is a person inside of me screaming to be let out. To step off the beaten path, traverse the open plains and wild woods. To carve into the unknown and experience people and places from all corners of the globe. I want to open windows to my soul that allow my view of the world to expand and the colors of life to deepen.

Not too long ago, I came across a few individuals who have done just this sort of thing with their own lives, one group has sold all their belongings and moved onto a sailboat with their kids, and live on the ocean traveling from place to place. They describe their lives as “refreshing, full, exciting, and dangerous” They have learned several different languages and experienced different cultures as a result. They are called “live-aboards” and it appeals to my heart something fierce.

The other, is a group of people who volunteer for a length of time at various locations throughout the world. This too has captured my attention, as it seems to fit in the place as the first step in realizing a shift from the normal routine that I am currently treading out.

My great dilemma (next to my own fear) is the fear of the impact that this would have on my family. In my dream, it is profound, in a good way, for my kids. They would grow up without the boundaries that limit a life, they would see the whole world as their living space and be intimately familiar with many stages available for their own lives. I believe that they would come to understand people of different customs with an open mind and learn to be excepting, loving and compassionate. My dear wife becomes fidgety and somewhat pale when I begin to talk of such things. In some cases she has even become angry when I start to pose questions to the “ways” of the world and suggest different styles of living that do not resemble an “ordinary” way of living. I believe that this is a reaction based upon fear, and I do not blame her it, and so I try not to push it too far, but I am desperate to explore the possibilities with someone or even to find someone who has taken to this adventure that I can relate with. Most of the world tends to reject these sorts of ideas as silly and destructive. I often times struggle with feeling alone in all of this.

This is the struggle that dwells within,
and keeps my dream from travelin
and day after day a sit about,
wishing my dreams would simply spill out

When they do I know I shall be,
a man with a heart that is truly free
unil this is so I shall stick with this song,
and dream all the day, all the days long...

Red Rocks!

Last night I had the privilege of seeing my first concert at Red Rocks here in Colorado! If you have never been, or do not know about Red Rocks amphitheater, you are suffering yourself the ultimate experience of outdoor entertainment. It is a naturally occurring amphitheatre made by gigantic slabs of red granite spiking up out of the earth and dotted here and there with trees and shrubs that have miraculously taken hold of these magnificent structures and contrast the striking red color with a gorgeous green. The amphitheatre is situated within the first row of foothills rising up from the Denver valley so that from your seat you are staring out at the entire Denver skyline for miles and miles in three directions! What made it even more stunning for me, was that last night was a full moon and as the sun set behind us and the shadow fell across Denver, the glorious moon shown itself in perfect harmony with all that was.

The band was Big Head Todd & the Monsters, an awesome group with incredible talent. The lead singers’ voice captures your attention and appeals to the heart. The instrumentalists were all perfectly in sync and offered a stunning performance of energy and emotional appeal.

The air was light and crisp, and the early summer breezes carried the scents of perfumes, cologne, weed and clove cigarettes all in a delicious melody the brought the senses to their highest. As the spotlights from the stage poured out over the crowd, it was an awe-filled experience to behold the sea of faces all joined together in jubilant sort of dance for the soul. All of life seemed to be on hold as the music bounced throughout the hills.

I am so very grateful to have had this experience in my lifetime. It will be forever etched in my heart. I have my beautiful wife to thank for it all. She gave of herself to see that I was able to go for my upcoming birthday. This was not really the type of environment that she would choose to be in, but she put that aside and rose to the occasion. In the end, I believe she gave herself an experience that has opened a new door in her. I believe that it is our core duty in life to fill our souls with new visions and perspectives of a world so fascinating and colorful.

-What a shame to have seen a rainbow, and to only experience two of its infinite array
of colors-

I've Made It!

There! I've made it. I'm finally on the web. I have wanted to do this for quite a while now and I'm finally here! That's me & my girls there in the picture. If I remember correctly my three boys were out playing soccer at the time this was shot or you can bet that they would have found a place in that frame as well. I'm sure if you decide to stick around for any length of time you'll see them. I am just excited to have this place up and ready to let my imagination run wild.


In fact, that is what this blog is all about. I have forever been an avid dreamer, always caught somewhere between the reality of my life and the thoughts of what I imagine my life "should be". If that sounds strange, I suspect you're in for a ride. I suppose that I feel like this blog will give me the space to bring my thoughts down from the mind and give them form. One step closer to action.

I know that this first post is somewhat boring, but I just had to get something up to make it official.